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The water dripping from the insomniac moon can't go back.
During this time I can just laugh about how pretty beautiful things are.
It all seems so fake...
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dreamsחמוץ מתוקכוכבית אחתLonely guyBig Mouthמאיר בוזגלו
מימיהשמלה האדומהדניאלKedishORIYALI❥AngelK❥
cosmicBFFEmo Life

FAREWELL

07/06/2019 16:08
Ghost Dog

It's been nearly 2 years since I last wrote here. 2 years since I felt I needed to

I am not who I used to be,
I am no longer dependant on this blog

 

A lot has changed, due to my physical state I no longer work with horses. Luckily for me, a year ago today I was lucky enough to but my own horse. We have been through ups and downs but we are currently out competing and climbing through the levels.

I work a Monday-Friday, 9-5 office job. I do engineering work and translation work. I'm happy.

My life has pieced together and everything is how it should be.                                                                                                          
Somehow, I made it through everything. Things I wrote here and things I didn't.

I met someone I considered to be my best friend for about 3 and a half years here. Unfortunately as time goes and people grow up, we have grown apart.

Life here has changed me. Over the last year in particular I have grown up a lot. I am 19 this month and am coping ok (just about) with this "adulting" stuff.

Early this year I learned an important life lesson. A person stepped into my life that threatened my health, my relationship and my whole state of mind. I had a mild relapse into alcoholism and self-harm which although left some of the fiercest scars yet, I got through and climbed up. I know better now.                                                                                                                                 


This no longer comes naturally. I struggle to find a flow to carry on writing.

This blog was my go to every morning and every evening. It was my escape from cruel reality and I had somewhere to be myself. I never fit in anywhere apart from here. But I do now. I have a happy relationship, my own finances and my own goals. I don't feel the need to come to this place every night to write about my day and cry myself to sleep. I don't need this anymore. I will never delete this blog. I will never erase such a huge part of my life and sanity. But it is very unlikely I will post here again.                                                                                                                                                                           I come back to this place sometimes, to read back on things I wrote. Things I felt. I am glad I got to where I am today. I am proud of myself for getting through it all and finally being happy.    
                                                                                              
 I achieved things I never thought I could. My dream of owning a horse and competing has come true. I worked insanely hard for it and I am so very proud of myself for what I have achieved. To date we have jumped 1.10M and have achieved a 64% in our first dressage (somehow! it was a mess!)
Through it all, I worked hard to better myself and to bring this horse to the level he is at today. I'm happy. 


All in all, this post was a mess. As I said it isn't very natural for me to write here anymore. 
I can't thank you all enough for everything. From arguments, to friendships, to fights and to everything else. The people here helped me so, so much and this site itself saved my life for the last 7 or so years. 

 

Thank you for coming on this journey with me, I hope those of you who are still around as well as those who aren't will get to see this post. I wish you all the best!  

Thank you ever so much and good luck on your own journeys,
the one and only, 
Ghost Dog



ARIXXXתיאו
תיאו
14/06/2019 17:52
hey there,
well, I'm not sure I can write that good in English but I'm gonna try (nothing to lose, right?)
I've been here for a long time and I have seen some commends from you before but never had the chance to talk to you or to get into your blog before. so here I am now.
truly happy to read about your life now, they seem peaceful, what else do we need?
it seems like you had a really hard time but you're on your way up now. processing and willing to get better. that's the most important (and beautiful) part.
I have left Bloger from the same reason but I'm still coming back here once in a while to read some of the posts and to say "hi" to the ones who are still here.
here if you gonna need to talk to someone sometime
tio
Ghost Dog
26/06/2019 13:42
This place was my go to after school, where I met my at-the-time best friend and where I spent hours on end talking, writing and feeling alive.
I am so grateful for this blog and how much it helped me and am so happy to hear it helped others too.


I do actually speak Hebrew, so feel free to comment in Hebrew if need be.
Same goes for you, I am here if you'd ever like to talk :)
its just me .
05/07/2019 16:51
האמת שהעלת בי תחושת נוסטלגיה,התלות בבלוג שדיברת עליה,זה היה מקום המפלט הקבוע שלי. אני מקווה שטוב לך.
Ghost Dog
17/07/2019 11:25
Thank you,
It used to be my go to everyday. I practically spent my life here.
I'm doing great, I hope you are too.
Davidlethy
01/08/2019 19:28
יכל לעניין אותך בשיתוף פעולה לגבי מוצר בעליה
?
Davidlethy
14/08/2019 10:19
יכל לעניין אותך בשיתוף פעולה לגבי מוצר בעליה
?
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